Review: Kelsey's Restaurant- gluten free selections??

Well, this might sting a little. Oh Kelsey's....Kelsey's, Kelsey's, Kelsey's... You are stuck in the 80s, my friends.

Folks, meet Kelsey's- of "Cara foods" fame.

This is one of a handful of "family-style" restaurants in my suburb. I could rhyme off several others that fit the exact same bill: this place is not- I repeat NOT- fit for the gluten intolerant, and especially not the gluten and dairy intolerant. This is the place you go when someone (your very supportive and gorgeous husband) begs you not to go to that weirdy niche restaurant where only the hairy-legged yuppie crew go, because he wants something deep fried and pub-style. So you sigh, and despite wishing you had the number for rent-a-wife, agree to go. However, you know full well you'll have one option: grilled salmon, with a side of plain baked potato or salad with all the fun stuff in it expunged.

So once again, we went. What did we find? After my lengthy consult with their "allergy menu" (which was a photocopy printed in about 6pt font) I determined that- you guessed it- I could eat salads I pared down to greens and one of a small handful of dressing options, plain baked potato and grilled fish. Surprise of all surprises, I had two options: halibut and salmon. I did what any girl who ALWAYS has the salmon would do: I got the halibut. Here is the description:

Pan-Seared Haddock

Three haddock loins simmered with garlic, grape tomatoes, white wine, lemon and parsley. Served with braised onion rice and steamed vegetables. 15.99 

After a lengthy wait, and an awesome server who apologized profusely, our food was delivered. I really could go ON and ON, but here's the Readers' Digest version:

• the rice was completely without flavour, and so dry I could have used it in a pea shooter or slingshot;
• the beans were similarly tasteless and so barely cooked they squeaked in my teeth; and 
• the halibut had the consistency of hockey pucks (how very Canadian, eh?).  

The wonderful server came by to check on us and I just couldn't help myself. When he asked me how it was I blurted out "Do people actually LIKE this??"  He laughed a bit, admitted to not eating seafood himself but claimed that they did sell a "fair amount". I was awestruck. He desperately tried to find a way to make amends but as there was not much else he could offer me (and frankly I was getting full after eating the 3 grape tomatoes which actually were good, and all the squeaky beans) we settled on the salmon fillet that I would eat once I had finished said squeaky beans. Props on one thing: Kelsey's can grill a mean salmon fillet. I will give them that. And because it was really that bad, we only paid for our kid's meal and drinks.

So here's my summary: if you want a grilled salmon fillet with squeaky beans and your choice of greens-only salad or dry baked potatoes, hit Kelsey's. Otherwise, go somewhere, anywhere, else. 

Oh, and back to my 80s comment above: this restaurant is one of those where almost every dish is wheat-based. You're getting a sandwich, pasta, burger, pizza or something breaded and deep-fried. Remember that 1980s version of the food pyramid that said we should all bone up on our grains? The one founded off the study with faulty methodology that claimed fat was bad for you and carbs were good? Oh come on now, you know the one I mean: the one that greatly contributed to the obesity epidemic in North America? Yeah. That one. Well, this menu is built on that philosophy: lots of cheap grains to fill folks up, then ship 'em out before their blood sugar plummets and they're hungry again in 25 minutes.

Just eat real food. Okay. I'm done now.

Review: Kelsey's Restaurant- gluten free selections??

My weakness (ok, one of them): grown up, gluten & dairy free "Zoodles"

You remember Zoodles don't you? Those canned white pasta noodles in sugary, salty tomato sauce?? There was a time I was working for the local hardware store (okay that was high school but let's pretend it was recently) where I ate a microwaved can of Zoodles every break time with a can of Five Alive. I know...trust me.

Well, there is something about that whole thing that brings back awesome memories. But Zoodles are made with glucose, enriched wheat flour, and cheap dairy. Yuck. I wish I could list the actual ingredients for you but I can't seem to find them anywhere! Coincidence? Probably not!

Now let's look at the alternative. This is Imagine's Organic reduced sodium creamy garden tomato soup. Ingredients: filtered water, organic tomatoes, organic onions, organic brown rice syrup, organic celery, organic expeller pressed canola oil and/or safflower oil and/or sunflower oil, salt with potassium chloride, organic spices, organic garlic powder. It is dairy and gluten free, and SO yummy. Simmer this with a solid handful of brown rice noodles, and bam- you've got a healthier version of zoodles. No, it's not kale and chia seeds, but this stuff is AMAZING, and I could seriously eat the entire thing. So when you're jonesing for a happy little slice of your childhood, give this option a try. You will NOT be disappointed!

My weakness (ok, one of them): grown up, gluten & dairy free "Zoodles"

Pasta salad with creamy curried mango sauce (gluten and dairy free)

Ever since concocting my refined-sugar-free spicy mango chutney, I've been on the lookout for other ways to use it. When I make it, I'm getting a few jars worth and they seem to keep forever in the fridge, so having an easy recipe like this one is the best way to showcase the flavours of the sweet, spicy and tangy chutney.

Salad ingredients:
1 bag cooked brown rice shell pasta
1 each chopped red, yellow and orange pepper
3 stalks chopped celery
1 cup halved red grapes (I was out so I used 1 cup raisins and soaked them in hot water before adding them)
Other options: chopped chives, sprouts or pineapple, shredded cooked chicken (for a non-vegan option)

Dressing ingredients:
1/2 c sunflower seeds
2 large chives
1/4 c olive oil
1/4 cup mango chutney
1 tsp curry powder
1 tsp fresh grated ginger

Directions:

1. Cook pasta till al dente, then combine with chopped veggies/fruit. Refrigerate if possible to serve cool.
2. Right before serving, blend the dressing ingredients in your blender. You will probably have to scrape down the sides several times but eventually it will be lovely and creamy.
3. Mix and serve.

Note: Once the sauce chills, it loses its creamy texture. That's why I recommend going straight from blending to mixing to mouth table. Enjoy!

Kitchen tip: Keep ginger in the freezer for grating right from frozen whenever you need it.

Pasta salad with creamy curried mango sauce (gluten and dairy free)

5km race results: 37:28

Today I proved to myself and anyone who would care to listen, that I am a champion. If the neighbours would still speak to me, I'd get on the roof with a megaphone and let them all know just how fantastic I am. :) Why? Because no matter where you start from, anyone can set a goal, train hard, and get there. And I did- big time.

Today I ran 5km in the Ottawa Race Weekend. Yes. I did. Me. The person whose standard line was "I don't like to sweat" or "I am just not someone who exercises". What a crock. I'm so glad that girl is gone now. There is no reason why a thirty-something at her peak of physical strength shouldn't be sweating a few times a week. I guess what I'd never found was something that clicked- something I WANTED to do a few times a week. Here's my story...

You'll recall that Mr. Pick-it-Up and I went to El Dorado Royale resort in Mexico back in March. It was absolutely one of my favourite vacations ever. I was able to eat whatever, feel normal, and beyond all that, the resort itself was insane. So beautiful. But here's the thing: it really caters to "fitties" and we watched them get up every morning, go running, play volleyball, etc. I exercised twice that week- one round of aquafit, and a leisurely bike ride, but there seemed to be this impenetrable wall around all the fit people that I just couldn't ever see breaking into. The day after I got home, I decided that enough was enough: I strapped on my shoes and went. I had downloaded an app for my iPod that walked you through the Couch to 5k program and I started by listening to the dulcet tones of the trainer while I ran my first 3k at walk1:run1 ratio. That, my friends, was March 25, 2011. Almost exactly two months back.

So how was the race? For anyone who wants the nitty gritty details, here is my play-by-play.

Pre-race: I was totally FREAKING OUT. Yep. I was collecting my stuff, getting ready to head out and I totally started to freak. Ugly freaking. Nail biting, snapping, not-being-very-nice freaking. We collected the kids, met up with my mom and her hubby and started the trek to the city centre.

Having never even been in a city where this kind of thing was happening, I was slightly unprepared for the masses of people. Particularly the blocks of runners waiting in their corrals (approximately 9,000). I had my cheering section with me: my mom, her husband, my kids and beloved hubby were all at my side as we made the trek into the madness. The air was so thick with excitement, I thought I might literally burst.

I kissed everyone goodbye, and was buoyed by their smiling faces, high fives and enthusiasm (who doesn't like to be the centre of attention???) as I went to meet my running partner and good friend Cathy. I almost tripped over her and her kids (13 and 16) who were also running with us. I was so glad to find them as I was beginning to doubt whether I'd have anyone by my side to run the race with.

We heard the crowd cheer at the start of the race, saw the crowd start to move and inched our way toward the starting line. At about 20 feet shy of the line, I looked at Cathy and said "You ready?" She was, we shared a high five, and we started running.

I suppose I was naive to think that people would follow the rule of "if you're slow, go to your appropriate corral and don't stick yourself in the way of everyone else". But they didn't. We passed hoards of people, in the middle of the road I might add, walking. Now I'm all for walking this race. It's only a 5k for pete's sake. But if you're going to walk, please walk on the right. If you find you have a stitch and have to stop, move over. No big deal. But don't walk 3 wide with your run buddies in the middle of the road. Please. Oh, and you- the guy who tried to cross the road in the middle of the race? An the girl who bent down to pick something up in the middle of the race (who I almost bowled over)-SERIOUSLY????

I digress. So I had lots of advice to take it easy during the race. Not to go too fast, because I'd burn out. I really took that to heart, but perhaps a bit too literally. I was going at a comfortable pace with random bursts as we passed folks and weaved our way through the crowds. But I found I was very disoriented. I had no idea how far into the race I was. When I run my route at home, I know when I am 1/3 of the way through, when I hit approximately the 1/2 way mark, and when I'm nearing the end. But there were no mile markers until we hit 750 metres left to go. So it was hard to judge when to pick up the pace because I literally had no idea how far in I was. I must figure out a solution to this for the next race.

The excitement at that 750...500...300...metre marker is like nothing I could describe. Again not being able to see the finish line was hard, and I had a cramp brewing in my abs that I was terrified would cause me to have to walk, but once I saw the finish line and we hit that 100 metre marker, Cathy and I were practically sprinting. That feeling of flying towards the line, neck and neck with each other was the highlight of the whole day...that and seeing my husband's face just a few metres after the finish line smiling so big I think I saw his entire gumline and possibly his tonsils.

In the end, although I've been running in the 32-34 minute range, my final race results were 37:28. Am I thrilled with the result? Well, I'll be honest and say I wish I'd been better grounded, and all those folks at the sidelines shouting "Not much longer!!" had been useful enough to tell me HOW much longer, but the point is, I have a result. If I hadn't run, I wouldn't have a result, would I? So I will take this as a benchmark, and start looking for a 10km to sign up for in the fall. Bring. It. On. Who's with me?

5km race results: 37:28